If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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