you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
