take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
