It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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