Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.

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(912): View more from Georgia

we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.

Fav 4 3496 1008
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(276): View more from Virginia

I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you

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(716): View more from New York

Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.

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(806): View more from Texas

Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap

Fav 5 1626 751
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(631): View more from New York

Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.

(1-631): View more from New York

I love your life.

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(207): View more from Maine

I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.

Fav 3 252 294
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(770): View more from Georgia

I have a vagina. So i automatically win.

Fav 9 48 23
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