STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you will always have a special place in my vag
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
