I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
