dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
