Need sex. Gaining weight.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
