Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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