i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
