wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Your penis caused this!
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