You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
