yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
