she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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