Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
