All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You are a genius and a whore.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
