she woke up with a sticky ear
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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