Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
