Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Welp...herpes.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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