And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
