i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
