I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
