What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
did i walk over a car last night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
