She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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