Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The feeling are messing with the penis
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize