Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Randomize