if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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