good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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