Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
