Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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