lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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