Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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