She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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