super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
