He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
