we have officially lost it.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
