the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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