I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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