There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
