Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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