"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just cropdusted the office
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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