America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize