my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
