is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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