did you get engaged???
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
