So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
