remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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