I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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