Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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