so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize