but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
