Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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