Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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