just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
