My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
