eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Pants are for mortals
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
