now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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