wat bout pragnant strippers??
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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